It warms my heart knowing you and your Dad have been able to heal, however slowly and gently, Ruky. What comes through in your writing is how mutual it is.
That's a wonderful platform for healing, and not one to be taken for granted.
My own father's narcissism means he filters every conversation through the lens of his own wounded inner child.
This means our relationship's something to be managed more than healed and I usually choose to relate to him on a surface level, to avoid escalation. It's part of my journey and I'm cool with that. You've both made real progress with what sounds like it was a high wire act. Brava.
Thank you for this. I really appreciate how thoughtfully you named the difference between healing and management. Both take clarity, and both require care. Honoring what’s possible while protecting your peace is real work. I’m grateful for the progress we’ve made, and I respect every path that chooses steadiness and self-trust.
Thank you for sharing. Coming from a childhood riddled with trauma, it is beautiful to see that you and your father have found the path of restoration. I am writing a piece regarding a comment my mother made to me this season. A comment that shows just how far we have come from when I wrote my motherless blog.
I love your points of boundaries, communication, and realizing that amnesia isn’t part of the equation.
However, for our parents, I would add that, as they reflect and may have some regret, they can learn how to do and handle things differently now. They can also change and learn new ways.
Thank you for sharing this so openly. I really appreciate the way you named growth without erasing the past. You’re right—amnesia isn’t healing, and neither is pretending harm didn’t happen. What matters is the willingness to reflect, take responsibility, and choose differently now. That kind of change, when it’s real, creates room for something more honest and more humane.
It warms my heart knowing you and your Dad have been able to heal, however slowly and gently, Ruky. What comes through in your writing is how mutual it is.
That's a wonderful platform for healing, and not one to be taken for granted.
My own father's narcissism means he filters every conversation through the lens of his own wounded inner child.
This means our relationship's something to be managed more than healed and I usually choose to relate to him on a surface level, to avoid escalation. It's part of my journey and I'm cool with that. You've both made real progress with what sounds like it was a high wire act. Brava.
Thank you for this. I really appreciate how thoughtfully you named the difference between healing and management. Both take clarity, and both require care. Honoring what’s possible while protecting your peace is real work. I’m grateful for the progress we’ve made, and I respect every path that chooses steadiness and self-trust.
Thank you for sharing. Coming from a childhood riddled with trauma, it is beautiful to see that you and your father have found the path of restoration. I am writing a piece regarding a comment my mother made to me this season. A comment that shows just how far we have come from when I wrote my motherless blog.
I love your points of boundaries, communication, and realizing that amnesia isn’t part of the equation.
However, for our parents, I would add that, as they reflect and may have some regret, they can learn how to do and handle things differently now. They can also change and learn new ways.
Thank you for sharing this so openly. I really appreciate the way you named growth without erasing the past. You’re right—amnesia isn’t healing, and neither is pretending harm didn’t happen. What matters is the willingness to reflect, take responsibility, and choose differently now. That kind of change, when it’s real, creates room for something more honest and more humane.